When Productivity Becomes an Addiction

What if your biggest obstacle to success isn't laziness—but the inability to slow down?

In this episode, we explore the hidden addiction to productivity and why constantly staying busy can leave you feeling restless, even when you've earned a break. We discuss how to break free from the cycle of tying your worth to your output and why the highest performers learn to create from a place of peace rather than pressure.

We discuss:

• Recognizing the difference between purposeful progress and simply checking boxes.
• Identifying the hidden worthiness loop behind productivity and the guilt of resting.
• Asking whether peace and productivity can truly coexist.
• Why slowing down often feels uncomfortable—and what lies beyond that resistance.
• How intentional pauses improve clarity, creativity, and decision-making.
• Choosing family, relationships, and what matters most over constant motion.
• Reframing goals around the life you want to experience and the impact you want to make.
• Building a life-first business instead of sacrificing your life for your business.

If you've ever felt guilty for taking a day off, struggled to relax without feeling unproductive, or found yourself chasing the next achievement without enjoying the journey, this episode offers a different way to think about success—one built on intention, fulfillment, and sustainable performance.

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Transcript

Quick Hello And Today’s Theme

Heidi 0:00

Welcome back to the show.

Ryan 0:01

Let's go. How are you doing today?

Heidi 0:03

Doing great.

Ryan 0:04

Awesome.

Heidi 0:05

Yeah. Weather turned around and I'm ready to go have some relaxation, which is what we're going to be talking about today.

Ryan 0:12

I I really do wish sometimes that people could actually see our interactions right before we hit record. Because it's hilarious. We're goofy, we're funny. We actually start talking about stuff. We're like, well, let's just hit record.

Heidi 0:25

Yeah, I said we're wasting the good stuff. We've got to save the good so you can hear it.

The Hidden Addiction To Progress

Ryan 0:30

So I have a topic today. I want to I want to ask you some questions a little bit, and then I'll of course I'll do my thing. But a while back, I recognized, and I say a while back, it's probably a couple years ago, but I have not really fought it in a way like I have recently. I was addicted to progress. Like I am not okay unless things are progressing.

Heidi 0:57

Yeah.

Ryan 0:58

Are you high-fired me?

Heidi 1:01

Why do I get high-fired progress? That's kind of a personality trait that we share, and that's probably why we get along so well.

Ryan 1:10

Well, everything can have a good side and a bad side to it.

Heidi 1:15

And and too much of anything can have a negative. Yeah.

Ryan 1:19

So I love the fact that I love progress, but at the same time, it became such an addiction that I couldn't uh I couldn't release. I couldn't relax. I couldn't, you know, just be. I couldn't unplug. Well, I know, even on a day, even on a day off, like a complete day off. I rarely take any days off. Like I'm always doing something, I'm always working towards something. That's why I think that addiction comes from. But even like, okay, it's a day off, but then I still find a way to do two or three or four hours worth of something. So even when I decided, okay, I am not going to work today, I am just going to do whatever, like, then it's like, well, then let's go pull weeds and move along and you know, you gotta get somewhere. Do something productive, yeah. Yeah. So I'm not demonizing that completely, but I have um com really challenged the the the energy or the essence behind the idea of needing progress, and I have been asking myself a very important question recently that has been showing up, and I've been experiencing it, and it's been beautiful. Can I experience peace and being productive at the same time? Can these two things coexist? It's actually one of my lessons I'm gonna teach to the teams that I'm working with this year, I put down is the idea of anxiousness or nerves and excitement can coexist. Right? Um, or even anxiousness and and being focused and calm can coexist.

Heidi 3:01

Yeah. Pressure and product productivity is like a identity, is what I realized. Like I was even like as I'm giving you a high five, like, yeah, I like that about us.

Ryan 3:12

You like that about me. That's why I love you.

Heidi 3:15

It it is, it becomes part of your identity, like just being a person who gets things done, and when you're not doing it, it can feel really uncomfortable.

Ryan 3:25

Well, we you heard us say this a lot. Everything's a pattern, right? Physical, mental, and emotional pattern. So anytime you begin to like live outside of the pattern, it feels unknown, it feels unfamiliar, it feels even like a threat to a certain degree. Yeah. So here's the other side of it. Do you know what one of my favorite quotes in the whole world is and who it comes from? Mm-hmm. What is it?

Heidi 3:46

It's uh from Winnie the Pooh.

Ryan 3:48

Yeah, okay. What is what is Winnie the Pooh's saying?

Heidi 3:50

I'll probably get it wrong, but I think it's something like the the best.

Ryan 3:53

The very best.

Heidi 3:54

The very best of something often comes from doing nothing. Or nothing.

Ryan 4:00

I don't think comes. I don't think he says doing, but whatever. It's close enough. I'm not sure if I can even say a verbatim, but it's just the idea behind it. The very best of something comes from doing nothing or comes from nothing. So this is uh something I we've been we have for a long time been practicing it, but I've been really, really uh trying to do this even more. And the it here's what I want people to understand. Number one is like everything's a pattern. You can get addicted to anything, you can get addicted to progress. It can be that can be a positive thing because you're moving the needle forward in your life, and progress is uh the the doorway to happiness, in my opinion. Like we are evolutionary beings. There desire is an evolutionary pulse. We desire things because we're here to grow and to evolve. But the idea of growing and evolving and progress that leads to happiness and being addicted to getting things done and checking boxes in a to-do list, I think

Peaceful Productivity Can Coexist

Ryan 4:56

is our a nuanced difference.

Heidi 4:59

Yeah, I think there's a difference between checking boxes and purposeful progress. Because I've heard people say that um there's a podcast that I listened to in the past, and the host would always say the opposite of depression isn't happiness, it's purpose. And so it's purposeful progress and and something doing something meaningful, not just always checking boxes to feel a sense of worthiness that you've done enough for that day to deserve to relax.

Ryan 5:29

That's the that's and that's the underlying issue, is that we it's a a worthiness component. Now I deserve, okay. Now I can whatever. Yeah.

unknown 5:40

Yeah.

Learning To Pause Without Guilt

Ryan 5:41

You know, here here's what I would say is that that has actually been the outcome as I have forced myself to to explore this idea of being peaceful and productive at the same time. I have uh we we just got back from uh a couple of different stents at the lake where we spent four, five, six days, you know, barely working and or not working at all, and a lot of boat time and a lot of family time, and like there's moments where you just you have to surrender to doing nothing, especially when we're we go out to Priest Lake where we're out in this place that we call the shallows, it's about four feet of water or so, something like that, probably three and a half feet of water, and we throw the anchor down and it's sandy bottom, and we just sit there and hang out and play music and have some snacks, and the kids swim and and and whatever. And a lot of times we'll sit there for I don't know, a couple hours, yeah. And uh, and so that's something that is fairly like a challenge for for me in in in some ways, but but there's this threshold, there's this threshold that I cross where it's like, oh, and now I'm comfortable and now I'm enjoying it, but I have to get past that resistance because I'm not getting something done. Like I'm not I've gotten so in the last decade or so since I left coaching and I've built companies, and it was just always there's always, and if you look at my to-do list, like it's like I'm sorry, but there's something to do for the next anybody who owns a business that knows that like one comes off and another one goes on, it just never ends. Yeah, because you just get another idea, yeah. Yeah, but I here's what I would say is that that with that intentional pause and with the challenging of always having to make progress and being addicted to that progress, which I still am, and I don't care to ever really necessarily get away from it completely, but it was it was beginning to impact the quality of my life, is that the clarity is better, the purposeful action is better. I am I would say that I'm I'm getting better. I'm not perfect by any means, but I'm getting better at taking purposeful action rather than just being addicted to progress.

Heidi 7:56

Yeah, because you could stay busy doing uh a ton of extra stuff that really isn't purposeful.

Ryan 8:03

Yeah. Just not not not working just to work.

Heidi 8:06

Yeah.

Ryan 8:06

And there's a feeling that I get when I was sitting at my desk or a certain amount of time that goes by where like now I'm now I'm just looking for stuff to do. I'm like just creating content and and and now I'm just creating confusion.

Heidi 8:18

Yeah, you're like, oh, I could I could update this.

Ryan 8:21

I have three different documents on my Google Drive that have the same topic. And I'm like, which one did I was I was I working on? You know, and so uh that that has been something that has made me really, really curious recently, and and um is is like how much are you know when I started to explore this idea of being peaceful and productive, like it just be an effortless ease, like I'm I am moving the needle forward, but it does not have to feel like a grind, and I don't have to do get something done to be okay. I'm okay, and then I get something done. Yeah, big difference. Um, so the the the the questioning behind uh that piece is how much are we creating or working unnecessarily? Right, and or then therefore like expending energy, creating resistance, like how much of that am I never gonna use or whatever versus really being like okay, right now I'm in the right headspace to either hit record on a podcast or to work on a future program. I'm doing a lot of programming right now. I work I have a pro I have two different programs that I'm writing that I think are gonna probably take me to really have them completely ready for the world. I I think it's probably about a three-year, uh three-year journey.

Heidi 9:45

Yeah, and then we have some updates to some existing programs that we're working on.

Ryan 9:49

But to really make sure that I'm in the right state of mind. So when I am working on it, it's not just me feeling good about working, but I'm actually truly like in that space. And the only way to get to that space is to step away from it. The only way to get to that space is to do nothing, it's to not make progress. The only way to to get the fresh ideas, the fresh, the fresh perspective, um, to feel like you're excited and energized to to dive back in and with that clarity. Uh and and then the the needle moves so much faster, in my opinion. I get so much more done, like in a day's time or a week's time, then um you can just kind of feel like you're spinning the wheels a little bit, right? Like you're working, but are is it really are you getting anywhere? Are you just kind of paddling in circles a little bit? So so that that's been my experience. My experience has been um and and I and we we have these conversations here because maybe you relate to that, you know, as a listener, that you relate to somebody who you feel like you're kind of you're spinning wheels a little bit, you're just kind of like you're you're dog paddling, not feel like you're going anywhere, but you but you Or you have trouble relaxing? You have trouble relaxing, and you and you and you know that like you feel good when you get the to-do list done, but has anything really changed in your life? Has anything ever really evolved in your life? And there's a big difference between getting something done and I remember how did I verbalize it a few moments ago, like where big difference between you know just getting something done to be okay versus being okay, per versus being okay and taking purposeful action.

Heidi 11:33

Yeah.

Stillness Builds Clarity And Alignment

Heidi 11:34

And thinking about the things that are actually the most important in your life, because nobody cares how hard, like how many programs you created on the computer at the end of your life, but like what your kids care about is did you get down and look at them in the eye? And did you spend time with them? Did you listen to them and all of these types of things? It's so taking the time out. I hear so many times like you know, moms that I've worked with, they can't sit down. Their family's watching a movie, and they're like in the background walking around doing stuff, and the and their their kids or their husband or whoever's like, come on, sit down, watch the movie with us, and they're just like, I can't, I can't sit down. Um, that's that that is what we're talking about. It's like I I have to be doing something all the time um to be productive. And actually, sometimes the the most important work you can do is actually slowing down and spending time with the people that are important in your life.

Ryan 12:32

Reminds me of the podcast that I don't remember what number it was that we I recorded years ago with Mark Devine. He's talking about we were talking about stillness, we're talking about the practice of silence and stillness. It's a beautiful podcast. If you haven't listened to it, I recommend you go back. I think it was like number, I don't know, 17 or 20 or something like that. It was early on in our podcasting uh kind of journey a few years back, and um, we were talking about how, why like sitting still. And you know, now that's the interesting piece about like even what I'm talking about, because I'm I'm a right very consistent meditator, so I have no problem in stepping out of my life to meditate. But to me, I look at meditation as progress.

Heidi 13:13

That's what I was gonna say. Meditation is part of your work, it's part of my work.

Ryan 13:17

I legitimately look, I consider that like if I had to, you know, obviously we create our own hours, but if I had to clock in and clock out, I look at everything like the sauna, cold exposure, training, mental imagery stuff that I do, meditation. I look at all of that as work. I look at all of that as like if I had, you know, I don't know how many hours a day I work, but if it if it was an eight-hour workday, right? Like a normal employment type of a thing, then I would count all of that a part of my eight hours. Um and I probably work more than eight hours a day, but but uh so that that that that in and of itself is feels like progress. So we were talking about the idea of stillness and silence and and the resistance that we have to that is because it's a lifetime of the inertia that's built up of just constant motion. And that again, if I I always I know I keep saying this, but like that's the pattern of progress, the pattern of motion, the pattern of just moving. But like, are you actually moving in an intentional, purposeful direction? Not only externally, but internally. And like this is where I the theme comes back. It always does. I didn't mean for this to happen in this conversation either, where it always comes back to why we chose the name Heart First. Because the the idea of integration, when we talk about our program, our signature program, integrated mindset, we talk about the idea of integration, we talk about the idea of of being oriented to the world from the inside out, right? Where the outside world is a mirror to our inside world that and how we're in need of healing and these different things. And and so, like the real progress is when you're when your orientation is right and you're oriented from the inside out, which means that you have paused, you have sat down, you have been still long enough to create that clarity, and then you take in purposeful action, right? Meaningful action. You have made sure, and even something that I thought about when you're talking about the kids and that kind of stuff is uh I think a part of this idea of of getting out of the um addiction to progress. I mean, I think it's no different than the addiction to just our society of more, either. Like our mind is an energy field that and and that creates this desire, this evolutionary pulse for desire, which is more. Now I need the next thing, the next toy, the next whatever, right? Shiny object is is to is to interrupt is to interrupt that by making sure that your priorities are in align too as well, right? Yeah. So when you start to live your priorities, when you start to make sure that you're making space and time to interrupt the pattern of progress, then the progress that you make in life becomes more meaningful and it becomes more truly authentic coming from your heart from a place where you're you're you're actually creating what you want, not just not just getting things.

Heidi 16:18

Well, you hear these stories about people who create businesses and things and they work for years, and then they realize like, I don't even want this. What they've created, they've just been creating, creating, creating, you know, building this thing, and then they're they didn't stop to really think what is the lifestyle that I want or what's actually important to me, and will this allow me the time, energy, you know, all those really important resources you you know that we can't get back.

Ryan 16:46

That's so good.

Heidi 16:47

But we're pursuing something like you know, money or success or whatever it is with with something like a business, and then they get to a certain point and go, like, what was I

Life First Goals Plus Listener Coaching Invite

Heidi 16:57

doing?

Ryan 16:57

Yeah, so let's land on that to finish this up for today. I because that's one of the things that in that neuro wisdom course that we that we were working on. Uh I know we talk about her a lot in our podcast, but she's been such an influential part of our journey as a mentor, uh, Stephanie Fay, uh neuroscience specialist. Um, what's the name of her podcast again?

Heidi 17:20

Mindset Neuroscience.

Ryan 17:21

Mindset Neuroscience. Sorry, sorry, Stephanie, for never remembering the name of your podcast. I love your podcast, by the way. I just don't remember the name. Um she she does a lot of coaching with coaches and teaching neuroscience language to coaches so we feel comfortable. Like that's why we worked with her for two years. We feel comfortable to use a little bit of scientific type of language in our coaching to create confidence and validate what we're coaching. And one of the things that she talks about is being very clear about experience and impact. Not just I want to make X amount of dollars or I want to have X, Y, Z things, car, toys, second house, or whatever, but I want to make sure that you're clear about and a lot of times let's say as a coach, as a, you know, call ourselves, I hate this word, but life coach. Uh we're not life coaches, but you know, we're mental performance, mental strength coaches. Um you would think, oh, I want to have I want to have uh 10 clients and I want to have this, this, you know, two corporate clients, and but right, but you don't stop to think about what your actual calendar and the quality of your life looks like.

Heidi 18:30

Well, what a lot of people do is they go, like, I want to make this much money and this is how much I'm charging. So that's how many clients I'm gonna have. And it's like, but what kind of service do you want to give to your clients?

Ryan 18:39

When you reverse engineer that, you say, I want to make a hundred thousand for easy math, I want to make a hundred thousand dollars and I charge X, or I gotta have this many clients and whatever else, right? Well then you but you don't stop and think about like how much time are you spending doing hobbies or what does your priorities look like, or family time, or you know, and or self-care. Because like for me, I got last fall it kind of happened where I got too busy and uh sure where I was you know the financial piece was nice, but but I had lost some of that that uh connection and essence behind some of my more internal spiritual exploration, yeah. Which that's where the real fulfillment comes from.

Heidi 19:25

And that's what makes you a better coach when you're actually able to do your own practices and take the time to think deeply and to have new new thought, new ideas, yeah things that you can bring to your clients. I think when you load up your schedule so much, then you nobody's getting the best of you. Yeah.

Ryan 19:43

But I think that's case that's the case for in any area or any person, matter whether you're a coach or whatever, is let's be more, and this is the heart-first approach. And I we talk about this in our programs as well. Be more curious and more clear about the experience that you want to have and the impact you want to make, right? And then in I think we even talked about doing a podcast about this someday, and I can't remember your language around this, but it was like rather than trying to create the uh how did it work? Life, the the business that supports the life that you want. What was the language that you used around? Life, life first, life first life first business, that's what you called it. Yeah, that's what it was. And uh, and that's an interesting way of just of like looking at uh how you operate, right? And what are you progressing towards and not being just addicted to progress? Yeah, and I can a hundred percent tell you that in the just even the last few days, I have been very, very productive. I'm even surprised by how much I'm getting done. Even today, I sat down to think, oh my gosh, I have so much to do. And I'm like, oh, it's 130 and I and I got it all done and I'm good. Uh I think I'm gonna go mow the lawn and hang out with the kids and go for a bike ride or whatever, because I got everything done, but it was very intentional and purposeful rather than just feeling like, well, it's 130, so I gotta keep working because it's 130. Right. Which was legitimately how I operated before. So that like being really, really clear about the impact you want to make and the experience you want to have, right? And you you can't get clear about that if you're just in productivity mode.

Heidi 21:28

No, you don't have any time or space to think about it. Right.

Ryan 21:31

You gotta you gotta pull out of it, and you gotta practice the winny the poo.

unknown 21:36

The winny the poo.

Ryan 21:37

The winny the poo do the poo. Do the poo, baby. You gotta pause, you gotta be curious about how the very best of something can come from doing nothing.

Heidi 21:48

Yeah, for sure.

Ryan 21:49

And you gotta and you gotta be in that nothing long enough to get past the resistance of doing nothing. That's it. That's what I got for you today.

Heidi 22:01

Yeah, I love that. Uh this topic resonated with you and you want to share some comments with us, or you have a question that you'd like some coaching around, we'd love to answer your question here on the podcast or even possibly invite you to come on and be coached live if you'd like to do that with us. So uh you can head to the link in the show notes, which is a link to text us directly. So we would love to hear from you and connect with you. So thanks again for being here and we'll see you next time.

Ryan 22:29

Thank you for your time.